I've been married 40 years. It is just us at home. We've not had a problem with whose job it is to do certain things around the house. At this time in life, I do not work outside the home, but he does, and he works a very labor-intensive job. I do most chores inside the home. However, he is often helpful. He does most of the outside house chores, as he prefers that. I'm thankful that for the functioning of the home all is great. I'm thankful he works and has a great work ethic. He is a great dad and grandad.
But we are not close. He does not ask me about my day. He has never asked about the volunteer work I do. He hates books/reading. He is a conversationist about current events, weather, his job, and the kids and grandkids. We are casual friends. He wants nothing to do with church. I don't think he has ever asked how I feel about a particular idea. He does not touch me. In the past, when I have asked or tried to talk about these concerns, his responses are to not say anything, to say I don't know, or to say I don't remember. I have days when I'm really negative about this situation, but overall, I focus on other things-things I am involved in, things I'm thankful for. It is certainly a test. I depend on God. I depend on Him for strength, endurance, self-control, patience, and love.
Annette, I was trying to edit my previous comment and deleted it instead 🤦♀️ Thank you for sharing your heart here. That does sound like a difficult dynamic, and one that would require a lot of reliance on grace. You and your husband will be in my prayers.
As someone discerning a vocation to marriage, I always enjoy reading your beautiful articles and learning from your advice. Thank you for writing this, Mrs. Dietz! God bless!
I really like the focus on what fruit you are bearing with your efforts and the way you relate to your husband. And I love the focus on house work and all the practical, real things that take up most of our time in a marriage. Very good read!
https://open.substack.com/pub/danielpetty/p/let-him-deny-himself?r=1hp78a&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
This is somewhat adjacent to your post. Just sharing because I thought you might like it.
Thanks Daniel! And thank you for sharing - this was a really good read!
This found me right when I needed it. Thank you Sara! It wasn’t too spicy at all :)
So glad to hear that. It’s a constant struggle, isn’t it. Praying for you today, friend!
I've been married 40 years. It is just us at home. We've not had a problem with whose job it is to do certain things around the house. At this time in life, I do not work outside the home, but he does, and he works a very labor-intensive job. I do most chores inside the home. However, he is often helpful. He does most of the outside house chores, as he prefers that. I'm thankful that for the functioning of the home all is great. I'm thankful he works and has a great work ethic. He is a great dad and grandad.
But we are not close. He does not ask me about my day. He has never asked about the volunteer work I do. He hates books/reading. He is a conversationist about current events, weather, his job, and the kids and grandkids. We are casual friends. He wants nothing to do with church. I don't think he has ever asked how I feel about a particular idea. He does not touch me. In the past, when I have asked or tried to talk about these concerns, his responses are to not say anything, to say I don't know, or to say I don't remember. I have days when I'm really negative about this situation, but overall, I focus on other things-things I am involved in, things I'm thankful for. It is certainly a test. I depend on God. I depend on Him for strength, endurance, self-control, patience, and love.
Annette, I was trying to edit my previous comment and deleted it instead 🤦♀️ Thank you for sharing your heart here. That does sound like a difficult dynamic, and one that would require a lot of reliance on grace. You and your husband will be in my prayers.
As someone discerning a vocation to marriage, I always enjoy reading your beautiful articles and learning from your advice. Thank you for writing this, Mrs. Dietz! God bless!
Thanks Chantal! God bless you too!
I really like the focus on what fruit you are bearing with your efforts and the way you relate to your husband. And I love the focus on house work and all the practical, real things that take up most of our time in a marriage. Very good read!
I love this perspective. Thanks for commenting!