I find more and more that “emotionally steeling myself” is the only way to meet the demands of the day as a mother. Do now, think/pout about it later. I find this especially applicable to hand washing dishes, soothing the whiny toddler, and anything that requires picking something off the floor. Sometimes there is no in the moment comfort or reason, just “this is what I am required to do.”
Thanks for this! Learning that lesson is so difficult, especially when you don’t have the words for it—but you gave me the words, and I really appreciate that. It’s comforting to think that my newborn’s cries are God’s way of telling me what He needs me to focus on in the moment. 💕
I’ve been reading a bio of Catherine of Siena and have been both put off by her love of suffering (so much obsession with blood?) and reminded that following jesus and being like him means being poor, obscure, misunderstood, mistreated, and unthanked.
The “mommy martyr” idea is wrong, but also, every Christian is called to die to self. So today, in this season of little kids, the nap schedule is my thorn. Yes, society should be more village-friendly so moms aren’t so lonely during this season. But today, it is what it is and I can pout about it or offer it up. My action might even look the same from the outside. But enduring with a willing spirit is worlds apart from resenting it. Thanks for the reminder.
Ah, yes! Holding that tension of self-sacrifice without self-matrydom or victimization is so challenging. I love your point about the actions looking the same from the outside: Rachel Norman had a podcast lately about mindset and covered this topic just a little. Always learning and growing here.
This reflection is so beautiful. My first baby is one month old and this is exactly the lesson I have been learning. I am forced to move more slowly through my day than I want to, but there is peace.
Yep! Or making a quick edit. Or having a eureka type moment while trying to sleep, but grabbing the phone instead to write it down so you won’t forget.
This post was great for me to hear within the first week of launching my substack. Having a “Family first” attitude trumping the temptation of a newfound hobby of writing.
Also this is great perspective of what my wife is going through all the time as we raise our little ones. Thank you!
This was lovely! What comes to mind for me is perhaps quite prosaic, but two things that have really been helping me lately have been -
smiling
just working at something for ten minutes.
In those moments you're describing where everything just seems absurdly too much, I've been learning to smile. It physiologically changes our mood and can provide that little burst of energy to just get through and do the next thing (cheerfully!).
Same thing with doing something for ten minutes. It can be helpful to set a timer and have an end time in sight (and the amount we can accomplish within that time can be surprising).
Also, lots of little self-care things. Noticing and appreciating and thanking God for the little things I enjoy. Going out of my way sometimes to enjoy them.
Thank you for writing this and being an instrument of God’s grace to me. I haven’t thought about Caussade in a while and I’m so glad you brought him back to mind. With a newborn I’m very much in the season of non-elective sufferings and groaning against my duties, so I appreciate this reminder to embrace the opportunity to serve God in all the little moments he’s offering to me
Amen! Overall doing well-she’s been a great feeder so far which has been wonderful. As always, hardest part is lack of sleep and lack of predictability-and remembering that both of those things will not, in fact, last forever, even though they feel endless in the moment!
ain’t that the truth 😂 but blessedly, this move has been so good for our family and we’re really reveling in the new place. The girls’ sleep has finally caught back up to normal, so we’re all feeling much better this week.
I find more and more that “emotionally steeling myself” is the only way to meet the demands of the day as a mother. Do now, think/pout about it later. I find this especially applicable to hand washing dishes, soothing the whiny toddler, and anything that requires picking something off the floor. Sometimes there is no in the moment comfort or reason, just “this is what I am required to do.”
“Do now, pout later” is something I need emblazoned on my walls 😂😅
Thanks for this! Learning that lesson is so difficult, especially when you don’t have the words for it—but you gave me the words, and I really appreciate that. It’s comforting to think that my newborn’s cries are God’s way of telling me what He needs me to focus on in the moment. 💕
Yes! It’s certainly a flipped perspective on a challenging season. Caussade’s book is an excellent read 🙏
Toddlers, I have noticed, are surprisingly good at Connect Four.:)
Why is this though?? Connect Four and Pretty Pretty Princess are alllllllll the rage right now in our home.
Thank you for this!
I’ve been reading a bio of Catherine of Siena and have been both put off by her love of suffering (so much obsession with blood?) and reminded that following jesus and being like him means being poor, obscure, misunderstood, mistreated, and unthanked.
The “mommy martyr” idea is wrong, but also, every Christian is called to die to self. So today, in this season of little kids, the nap schedule is my thorn. Yes, society should be more village-friendly so moms aren’t so lonely during this season. But today, it is what it is and I can pout about it or offer it up. My action might even look the same from the outside. But enduring with a willing spirit is worlds apart from resenting it. Thanks for the reminder.
Ah, yes! Holding that tension of self-sacrifice without self-matrydom or victimization is so challenging. I love your point about the actions looking the same from the outside: Rachel Norman had a podcast lately about mindset and covered this topic just a little. Always learning and growing here.
This reflection is so beautiful. My first baby is one month old and this is exactly the lesson I have been learning. I am forced to move more slowly through my day than I want to, but there is peace.
Yep! Or making a quick edit. Or having a eureka type moment while trying to sleep, but grabbing the phone instead to write it down so you won’t forget.
This post was great for me to hear within the first week of launching my substack. Having a “Family first” attitude trumping the temptation of a newfound hobby of writing.
Also this is great perspective of what my wife is going through all the time as we raise our little ones. Thank you!
LOL
“That’s nice, Paul. Thanks for the #humblebrag.”
Truth!
It’s so tempting to just write a few more words, isn’t it!
This was lovely! What comes to mind for me is perhaps quite prosaic, but two things that have really been helping me lately have been -
smiling
just working at something for ten minutes.
In those moments you're describing where everything just seems absurdly too much, I've been learning to smile. It physiologically changes our mood and can provide that little burst of energy to just get through and do the next thing (cheerfully!).
Same thing with doing something for ten minutes. It can be helpful to set a timer and have an end time in sight (and the amount we can accomplish within that time can be surprising).
Also, lots of little self-care things. Noticing and appreciating and thanking God for the little things I enjoy. Going out of my way sometimes to enjoy them.
Thank you for writing this and being an instrument of God’s grace to me. I haven’t thought about Caussade in a while and I’m so glad you brought him back to mind. With a newborn I’m very much in the season of non-elective sufferings and groaning against my duties, so I appreciate this reminder to embrace the opportunity to serve God in all the little moments he’s offering to me
Ah, yes, Elise! Those newborn days are such a treasure and such a cross all at the same time. How are you feeling?
Amen! Overall doing well-she’s been a great feeder so far which has been wonderful. As always, hardest part is lack of sleep and lack of predictability-and remembering that both of those things will not, in fact, last forever, even though they feel endless in the moment!
Amen. Similar themes in my mind and heart all the time, friend.
🙏 very grateful to have found so many other women in this season, it’s so much less scary when you know you’re not alone
Beautiful reflections here, Sara! Moving with littles is a load of work for the whole person (and the whole family for that matter).
ain’t that the truth 😂 but blessedly, this move has been so good for our family and we’re really reveling in the new place. The girls’ sleep has finally caught back up to normal, so we’re all feeling much better this week.